Monday, February 22, 2021

Studies Reveal Being Kind May Help You Age Gracefully

 Studies about kindness have shown that people who are kind to others have a lower risk of having anxiety and depression, remarkable findings. Furthermore, kindness has also been said to decelerate the aging process as well. Thus makes you age with grace. Being kind does give us some good favors. Not only will that others appreciate us a lot but it also good for our health. The most important about this is that it will not cost you a single cent. All you need to do is open up your heart and have that willingness to help others by merely assisting an old lady cross the street or opening the door to a person with your sweet smile.


That is not all with kindness. It’s not just the person you are kind who benefits from it, and you too will feel good for being kind to others. The world could have been a better place if more people are more thoughtful of each other. Kindness is infectious and can affect others into actions as well, inspiring them to be kinder.

According to Oxford Languages, kindness means the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. It doesn’t matter how big things you should do or give. It is about being friendly, thoughtful and courteous to other people around you even to a stranger who was asking some directions. It is an act that should come from your heart, the genuine willingness to help without expecting something in return. And you are doing it because you want the world to be a happier place, and it is a simple deed if you think about it. If everyone will do an act of kindness every day, then the world would be such a peaceful place.


Some people would say that they are not used to being kind and don’t know where or how to start. You’ll figure it out and once you have started doing it you will get the hang of it. You can begin kindness in yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Stop punishing yourself by saying nasty things. Then little by little you will notice you are already doing it to other people. By just merely assisting an elderly carry their groceries or by just throwing that authentic smile at someone you bumped in from the mall. Over time it will come naturally to you.

Image: Premier Community

Kindness Has Numerous Health Benefits And Slows Down Aging

Kindness can significantly develop your physical, mental and emotional health; moreover, it can also help you slow down aging. Kindness can boost the good feel hormones, happiness reduces pain and eliminates feelings of anxiety and depression. It can also lower your blood pressure and it will not cost you a dime.

A controlled trial conducted by the University of North Carolina showed that people who engage in loving-kindness meditation age slower. The study included 142 adults grouped into 3: people who did loving-kindness meditation, people who took mindfulness meditation and a control group. They all joined in a six-week workshop and at the end of the trial, the scientists measured their telomeres (the protective caps of the chromosomes which as we age wear down and shorten, thus preventing more damage). Telomeres are vital because according to the study, the shorter the telomeres the higher the risk of common health-related problems. The longer they are the higher the life-span.

The study found that the people who were doing the loving-kindness meditation lost the least telomeres length. The mindfulness meditation group and the control group lost the most telomeres length. They also said that the loving-kindness meditation might turn as a safeguard for telomere wearing away, which can help you delay the aging process.

Lowering anxiety, lowering the stress level, improving your mental health are just some of the benefits that kindness can offer alongside slowing down your aging. It is only a small part of the entire study. The scientists have just started to study the whole scope of the benefits of kindness and its effects on the aging process although the preliminary results seem promising.

You can be great, an achiever, or collect all the world’s fame and fortune, but sometimes you forget how to be kind. Being kind does not cost you a thing; it wouldn’t make you less of a human as well. Therefore try to be more kind and do it more often. It’s better to be remembered as a kind person than otherwise.

How To Deal An Abusive Relationship With Yourself

Based on the Oxford Languages’’ definition, self-abuse is a behavior that causes damage or harm to oneself. Merriam-Webster, on the other hand says that it is an abuse of one’s body or health.

20% of the global population is in an abusive relationship with a partner or family member. A significant number if you may say. However, around that 80% of the world’s total population is in an abusive relationship with themselves, something that not all of us know. It is called self-abuse.

Image: iheartintelligence

The Stranger in The Mirror Is You

Thinking about how someone else is treating you the way you treat yourself is a way to know if you abuse yourself. What will you feel if you spoke to your friend the way you are talking to yourself? If your partner neglects you the way you fail yourself and how would you feel if your co-worker judged you the way you judge yourself?

Most of the time if others would treat us the way we treat ourselves, we would feel mistreated and we would be dead-on. Therefore if it is not okay for others to mistreat us, why is it okay to treat ourselves this way? For some it is not essential but if you are going to think deeper it is vital.


The pain we unintentionally do to ourselves manifests as problems, trials and missing opportunities. When self-abuse continually happens sooner or later, it will also show up in our health even in finances.

Self-abuse can be a natural outcome of suppressing self-love. If you don’t love yourself, it also means that you don’t treat yourself well.

The reason why many people have huge reservations when it comes to self-love is that we have been deceitfully taught that we must substantiate our worth continually before we are worthy of love. This way of thinking has caused most people to go through their lives secretly feeling undeserving, therefore resenting from self-love.

If you always think that you are unworthy to be loved, not showing love to yourself and not believing in yourself this will result in chronic self-judgment.

If you are in an obnoxious relationship with yourself it will also manifest in your way of talking with yourself, certainly causing you to fill your mind with negative thinking while dismissing wisdom and having self-doubts.

Abuse of neglect includes anything that compromises your needs or losing your integrity even depriving yourself of fun and peace.


Both chronic self-judgment and withholding of self-love are abusive as is. But it also opens up for other types of abuse and most of the time, people show a lack of self-love and self-respect by abusing us. Moreover, if we are self-abusive we put ourselves in a compromising place. We don’t stand up for ourselves and we comrade with negative people who cross our non-existent restrictions.

Hard as it may sound but the problem is not with others. Because no one can ever abuse you than you are secretly mistreating yourself; how others are treating you are apparent signs. Therefore, to end some external abuses, you should stop doing it to yourself, so others will not have the chance to do it to you. Abuse can happen in some relationships, and it has caused some adverse effects in our lives. Remember that nothing can harm us, not if we allow it to.

Friday, February 19, 2021

How To Get Back Into Dating After A Toxic Relationship

Some of us have been in an abusive and toxic relationship. We were figuring out how we will get back on track, date and trust someone again. It seems that finding real happiness is impossible. 

The idea of dating may be a scary thing to get in. But it is a good idea to think ahead and to do it healthily. 


The good thing is that you can take steps that will serve as your guide when you are ready to start again, and it will prepare you to set yourself up for success. 


Get To Know Yourself Again


For some people who have been in abusive relationships we may have lost who we are. We were told for months or years that we are worthless, blamed for everything, belittled, and were also told that we are ugly and rash taking all its toll on one’s self-esteem. 


People with low self-confidence will attract people with low self-confidence which might end up going through the same cruel cycle all over again. 


After being in an abusive and toxic relationship, take time to reflect and get to know yourself once more. Be with the people you love for you to realize how adorable you are. Do things that you have always been wanted to do but didn’t believe for so long that you could; it will also make you realize how strong you are. Learn new things, get reconnected with your intelligence. Getting back up from being devastated and regaining your self-confidence is essential for success in the dating world. But suppose you go out there and not think that you are a victim and are strong enough to get out from that toxic relationship, someone who values themselves and is surrounded by the people who support and love you. In that case, you will then attract like-minded people—the type of person you want to be with. 


The idea may be scary but getting to know yourself again is an important stage of dating after a toxic relationship. 


Take Stock Of What Happened In Your Relationship


Toxic relationships are shattering. You may find yourself in a place constantly questioning everything around you, depressed, being subjected to verbal or even physical abuse. Striding water to prevent yourself from drowning. 


After getting off from an abusive relationship, it is essential to know how it became offensive. Was it abusive from the beginning, or did something happen which abuse developed? Is it continuous abuse or does it only occur during certain circumstances? Were you aware that you are being abused? Does anyone know about the abuse or did you hide it? 


It is also important to know your role in the relationship. Was there a point wherein you provoked your partner for abuse? Could you have left the situation earlier than you did? 


Being aware of what is happening in your relationship and accepting things you did that you can take responsibility for. It will help you get back into dating because you will have clearness on what happened and be gritty not to let it happen again. 




People who have gone through toxic relationships are sometimes full of doubts. Their previous affair has spoiled Their perception of love. Therefore finding or meeting someone who could accept and love the broken them seems unreal. This kind of thinking can be right to those who opt for online dating which can be a truly frustrating and unnatural way to date. 


It might be tough to find a new love but it is possible. You will meet someone who can treat you the way you should be treated and make you happy. It might take some time and probably kiss a couple of frogs hoping that they can turn into a prince but the right person is out there.


Although internet dating is unpleasant, few people have met their match online and have been living happily. So before jumping into the dating world again you need to have a positive mindset that it will work. Having negativity in your table will doom your dating prospects from the start. Have faith and believe that you will meet someone and the positive energy will give that right person to you.



Choose Differently


If you don’t take stock of the things that had happened in the past relationship you might carry the same burden in the next connection. You might just be looking for the same type of person and go over with the similar agony you have had before. Therefore your relationship will end the same way again.


Knowing the things you may have done wrong with your past toxic relationship makes it easier for you to see something that you need to do differently when you go on dating again. You will be more aware of the kind of person you want to be with. The behavior you both have, the sort of feelings you want your match to make you feel. 


Go Slowly



Some people fall in love easily. So in love, after a few dates they quickly fall into bed without even fully knowing the person. And when the person shows their true color, they are often too far in to get out of the relationship.


If you think you have met the right person for you, take your time. Get to know the person more, likes and dislikes their past relationships, goals in life and how they are with their parents. Do not fall into bed with them just yet. Intercourse can change everything, especially women who seem to get more attached to a person after having sex. Even they were not particularly committed before. 


Therefore while you are still trying to have a fresh start into dating, take things slowly. Please don’t do it like your previous one. Get to know more the person before falling into them. Before you give your heart, your mind and, your body. You will have a bigger chance of having a more successful relationship if you will do it.


Dating may be challenging most of the time. And knowing how to properly prepare yourself to get into it after a toxic relationship is important.


You have been through a lot and have endured pain. Therefore searching for a new match can be daunting. But you need to be brave. 


Before you get back in dating you need to know yourself again, love yourself also. Take stock of what happened in your relationship and be aware of what role you played in it. Choose carefully and be careful who you date. Lastly, never lose hope, know that the right person is there waiting for you, don’t put yourself in a rush. Take it slow this time. 


It is possible to find that one great love after being in a toxic relationship.


Scientists Reveal A Strange Ghost Lineage In The DNA of West Africans

Researchers find some indication that a group of unidentified human raise with our descendants.

(Inside Science)-A new study finds a strange extinct “ghost” human ancestry that was more distant relation than Neanderthals may have produced with the ancestors of the modern West Africans, suggestively contributing to their DNA.

Image: Zacarias Pereira da Mata/Shutterstock

While modern humans are now the only remaining raise of humanity, they believed that others once existed on earth. Some went to Africa before we did, together with the familiar Neanderthals in Eurasia and the recent Denisovan Lineages (genome derives from unidentified archaic hominin), indicating this species diverged from Neanderthals and humans million years ago) in Asia and Oceana. Although it is not clear whether these lineages would be considered species or subspecies, the groups had particular genetic dissimilarities. Previous work projected the families of modern humans separated about 700,000 years ago from the race that paved the way to the Neanderthals and Denisovans. The lines of Neanderthals and Denisovans differed from the others about 400,000 years ago.

The story is a bit more twisted than what the timeframe suggests. The genetic study of fossils of these lineages has shown that they once mated with modern humans. A union that may have endowed our ancestry with beneficial mutation as we started escalating across the globe about 194,000 years ago. Neanderthal DNA makes up to 1.8% to 2.6% of present humans’ genomes from outside Africa. While Denisovan DNA makes up 4% to 6% of current Melanesians.

These extinct human lineages that once existed in Africa may have mixed with present humans there as well. The remnants of the ancient human fossil record in Africa make it hard to detect DNA from such “ghost lineages” in present humans.

Image: Bob Wilder/University at Buffalo

Instead of looking for ancient human relics across Africa, the scientists hunted for genetic hints of ghost lineages in modern Africans. Researchers compared 405 genomes from present people from West Africa with ones from the fossils of Neanderthals and Denisovans, concentrating on DNA that emerged from the West African genomes approximately as much as Neanderthal and Denisovan DNA did from present human genomes in general.

The researchers identified statistical anomalies they suggested were explained by interbreeding between West Africans and an unidentified ancient human ancestor whose lineage separated from those recent humans. Before the riven among Neanderthals in south Nigeria, Gambians in western Gambi and Mende in Sierra Leone-may originate 2% to 19% of their DNA from a ghost lineage, said the researchers.

According to study senior author Sriram Sankararaman a computational geneticist at UCLA, “interbreeding among highly diverged human populations has been common through human evolution”.

Several ghost lineage genetic variants were prevalent in the Yoruba and Mende genomes, signifying they might discuss some evolutionary advantages. These comprised genes involved in tumor suppression, male reproduction and hormone regulation.

Some studies have also given some hints at interbreeding with ghost lineage in Africa, like 2011 research studying sub-Sahara Africa and January Paper investigating western Central Africa. According to Sankararaman, the ghost lineage tested in the January study “is likely the ghost lineage we are seeing.” “A broader question of the number of these ghost lineages that have survived into present-day Africans is fascinating, which we don’t have the answer to,” Sankararaman added.

Evolutionary genomicist Omer Gokcumen at the University at Buffalo in New York said that these findings highlighted how “it is not a question of whether our ancestors interacted with other hominins, but it is a question of when, where, who”. Gokcumen did not partake in this research. He also added that “I think we will need additional ancient genomes from Africa to more properly address these questions”.

Image: Georg Berg/Alamy

1.02 million years ago and interbred with the ancestors of present west Africans from 124 000 years ago; this is what the scientists estimated when the ghost lineage separated from Neanderthals and modern humans’ ancestors. Sankararaman also mentioned that “one limitation of our study is that we have mainly sampled present-day West African populations.” They don’t know yet how far the ghost lineage spread across Africa”, he said.

Scientists want to study people across Africa for some hints of ghost lineages. “We are beginning to understand some of the complexities of human history, but the true picture is almost certainly even more complicated,” Sankakaraman explained.

Discoveries are coming out; studies were being conducted, hints are all over us. These may resolve some of the most significant questions that hunted us for decades, leading to the answers even our ancestors cannot explain.

Real Love Is Not Forcing Someone To Change But Driving Them To Do Better

Some of us may have said that true love is hard to find. And we may have defined love in the wrong way. Therefore finding true love based on our faulty definition of love is a struggle for us.

When you love someone you will also see the imperfections of the person. And more often than not we try to fix these flaws in our partner rather than accepting them in their true form. You do not truly love the person for they are.


We Have Found A Shortcut To Loving Others

You change someone to create that ideal person you have in mind. But that is not loving. Love is accepting the person, and it also means taking everything of that person including the imperfections rather than changing them to a person they are not. 

Love Is Accepting That Person Even When The Going Gets Tough

Falling in love with a person who does not fit into your idea and opt to change is not a good thing to do. They will not change to please your palate. Love is not satisfying your standards. That is the problem of the generation now when it comes to their concept of love. They forgot the difference between fake love and real love. We are changing our partners to change just to fit in the vision we imagine. Though, we can try to encourage them to do better without forcing them. We should remember to respect each other’s boundaries and not cross them.

Real love is not selfish but forcing someone to change is selfish. Being imperfect is okay. We all are. You can love someone with their imperfections. However, a person will grow over time, and they will also work on their flaws simultaneously. It shouldn’t matter if they changed or not. What is important is that as a partner you should support them. You should work on the relationship as much as your partner works on the relationship.

Change For Yourself, Don’t Change for Another

A relationship will not progress if your partner only loves a part of you not the whole. True love lets you show the real you, free and comfortable. You can get rid of all your pretensions. You are human, you have desires and you are flawed. And that is okay; you don’t need to change a thing.

You know its real love if there is mutual support, you are caring for one another, you are not trying to fix your partner, you have the same values and goals in life, you are comfortable with one another, you can talk anything under the sun, paying attention to each other and not ignoring one another, accepting that your partner is flawed and that is not a problem, you are not feeling that something is missing between the two of you. Once you found the love of your life hold it tight and never let go. The stars have aligned in your favor. It is time to make your life special with a particular person.

Your Biggest Fall Turned To Be The Best Thing In Your Life

There’s a rainbow always after the rain. In every stumble in your life, you will meet the best person there is. A person who will love you completely and will provide everything you need.

Heartbreaks can be devastating and can strike you sometimes and it will make you feel hopeless. It will make us non-believer of love especially after we have invested ourselves into something completely wrong. We often trust someone and abuse it and mistreat us, giving ourselves to someone who doesn’t deserve us. We should have known better and we should have been wiser but sometimes it is just too late for that. We know that there is something wrong with the person we choose but we still hope that person can change. Thinking that our love is powerful enough to turn that someone into a better person.

Failure, Success
Image: Forbes

We hope that he will appreciate things and think that he doesn’t need anything more than our love though that day never came. We waited and prolonged our agony only to realize that we have wasted our time that he will not change, not for you, not for anyone else. You opted to follow your heart but it directed you into a dark hole. After these devastating incidents, we tend to doubt things. Trust issues may develop along with the thoughts on how you will have a better tomorrow if there is someone who will treat you better and trust again.

You should have known that he was never going to love you the way you deserve to be loved or treat you the way you should be treated either. Warning signs have been flashed before your eyes, your friends and your family have warned you but you wanted to prove them wrong. You were blinded by the feeling that you have and disregarded all the hints given to you. He didn’t care enough to call you or exert time to meet you. All he wanted was to get something in return. That is why he acted so nice to you. He never planned to love you the way you loved him and he never truly invested in your so-called relationship.

Despite the odds there is hope for us yet. You may be hurt, and you may have suffered tremendous pain which makes you hesitant to be with someone new and, that is fine. Time will heal all wounds and you will be ready again. Ready to meet the person who is going to change your life and your perspective of love. A person who will come after the biggest mistake in your life, a person patient enough to stand by your side. A person willing to wait will give you enough space you need until you trust and love again. He will provide everything because he knows you deserve it. A loving, kind, faithful and supportive person everything you dreamed in a partner, slowly until you open up your mind and learn to fall in love again, trust again. A person who will do everything to protect you from any pain making sure that no one will harm you and who will show you that unconditional love does exist. A feeling we did not feel before. A partner who loves you for everything you are, along with your flaws and imperfections even gives you enough room for improvements. One who will never try to change anything from you because for him, you are perfect just the way you are.

So never lose hope and never think that life and love have ended. You will never know what tomorrow would bring. Your true love may just be waiting for you; you just don’t know it yet.

How To Keep A Relationship Strong Despite Different Religious Beliefs

As we become more knowledgeable along with the fast pacing of life, many people reject some of the traditional beliefs especially when it comes to relationships. Matching up with others of the same kind or faith, most people find themselves in interfaith relationships.

Based on the 2011 National Household Survey (Canada), 4.6% of all common-law and marital couples were diverse unions (including interfaith and interracial couples). Although the hope is that interfaith couples share common interests in many areas, a difference in religious beliefs can cause a problem down the line.

Image: Spiritual Insights for Everyday Life

According to Evelyn Lehrer director of undergraduate studies in economics at the University of Illinois at Chicago from Washington Post, “a strong or even moderate religious faith will influence many activities that husband and wife perform jointly”. She also added that “religion isn’t just church on Sunday, (she) noted, but also ideas about raising children, how to spend time and money, friendships, professional networks-it can even influence where to live. The disagreement between husband and wife start to add up”.

But as per Relationship advice expert April Masini, “these differences-whether they are between two people of different faiths or an atheist and believer-don’t need to be a relationship pitfall”. Masini offers some ideas to safeguard a contrast in spiritual beliefs to ensure that it doesn’t get in the way of a healthy relationship.

It Starts With Respect

“The most important asset in an interfaith relationship is respect. You can agree to disagree-but you can’t disrespect and have things work. Acknowledge your religious differences and have open conversations throughout your relationship, but always respect each other’s’ religions”. Says Masini.

Same is true if one among the couple is religious and the other is not. If one can’t show respect to someone’s belief that will certainly cause trouble for the relationship, deeply spiritual people attach a part of their personality to their religion.

Participate In Each Other’s Religion

In building a strong union, one needs to actively partake in another’s lives, specifically when traditions are involved. If you choose not to participate in those important practices, it won’t just push away your partner it could also divide you and your children if they practice those customs.

Masini also added that “you can attend religious services as a respectful observer-even if you’re not a believer. This is a big part of getting to know each other and to build on the relationship by supporting and participating in differences”.

Furthermore, if one member of the couple is not religious, it is imperative to join in activities or non-religious traditions vital to them. You can’t assume your atheist partner to respect your religion if you can’t respect or acknowledge their decision not to practice a religion; it will be a breeding ground for resentment.

If you wish your partner to go to church or shrine to celebrate a long weekend, join them in their own ways around the holiday (if they celebrate one).

Prioritize The Things That Re Important To Your Partner

You don’t always need to do Friday night dinner or Sunday mass, but opting out by hiding behind other duties, like work or a social engagement will only prove to your partner that you don’t care about their needs.

As what Masini suggested, “clear your calendar for this type of thing to show you’re both in it together”.

However, it would help if you also gave your partner time to adapt to the religion and its desires. Acceptance works both ways.

Based on the advice column Masini wrote on her site, “it takes time for some people to adjust. Don’t expect people to have the same ability to adjust that you do, to embrace new things-and vice versa, be prepared for them to want to celebrate the cultural differences quicker than the religious differences”.

Discuss All Of This Ahead Of Time

The understanding and respect won’t mean much if you find a partner who has taken an unyielding idea against religion. A religious mismatch can be a deal-breaker for some people. It is a topic that needs to be talked about early on.

If it will work it will work, if not then it will not. We don’t need to force the universe to make things happen just because we want it to happen. Accept the incompatibility and wilfully decide if you will stay despite all the differences or to move on. At the end of the road, it will be your choice and yours alone.

Studies Reveal Being Kind May Help You Age Gracefully

  Studies about kindness have shown that people who are kind to others have a lower risk of having anxiety and depression, remarkable findin...