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Thursday, July 9, 2020

A Bidet Company Wants To Pay Someone $10,000 Just To Poo

pooping

If you've always dreamed of making a decent living for sitting on your a**e, pin your ears back for this job opportunity from bidet company Tushy.

Basically, they're in the market for someone to get paid $10,000 (£8,000) simply for sitting on their backside and pooping.

That's right, they're seeking out a toilet consultant for the summer, and the money is not to be sniffed at.

They've advertised the job under the title 'VP for Fecal Matters' - yes really - and it will essentially require the successful candidate to test out a load of products, interview folks about what they get up to in the bathroom, and share their experiences on social media.

There's the catch, if there is one.

TUSHY

You've got to talk about the things that no-one else really wants to. If you're fine with that, you might just stand a chance of bagging the role, though.

If you are sat there right now - perhaps emptying your bowels for free - and you think you should be getting income for your leavings, why not send Tushy a video application.

The deadline for applicants is July 10, and it's a three-month consulting gig.

$10,000 for three months ain't so bad, is it?

Oh, you've got to be over the age of 21, which means that you've gained significant experience in the field of using the big toilet all by yourself.

So, you'll have to discover some way to stand out from the crowd, without being too disgusting or off-putting. This is a sales job, after all.

TUSHY

In a pun laden job advert, the bespoke toilet product company wrote: "TUSHY is looking for our first VP of Fecal Matters to ASSist in the day to day op-poo-rations of our #Bidet2020 campaign.

"With guidance from our Chief Pooping Officer, Dr. Mark Hyman, our new VP of Fecal Matters will be testing and studying their own pooping habits and documenting it via TUSHY's social media.

"This will be a fart-time, (about the average time you spend on the toilet per week), $10,000 contract role.

"On day one, the new VP of Fecal Matters will have a one-on-one with Dr. Mark Hyman and TUSHY's founder Miki Agrawal to plan out their dooties.

"By week two, the VP of Fecal Matters will have assembled a butt-ton of data around their bowel movements based on their diet and research.

"By their final week, they will have converted more buttholes to the TUSHY movement through their research and content."

What are you waiting for? Get stuck in!

[ By Ladbible ]

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